100 Self Portraits update

Self Portrait #76 is available in my Gallery Juana shop on Etsy.

I spent this week working on the last four self portraits in this project. I didn't finish within the 100 days and that's o.k. A couple of things happened that I did not anticipate would happen:

1. I was kind of sad that the project was nearing an end. I woke up everyday with the sole focus of working on this project and I really looked forward to waking up everyday with another chance to explore ideas, methods and poses for the project. The thought of not having that anymore hit me sideways.

2. I started to feel the last self portrait should be something weighty, something big. I became reluctant to move forward and for a week was at a standstill. Finally on July 16th, I wrote down some thoughts in my journal:

"I think I am reluctant to finish my 100 self portrait project because I feel the last portrait should be something fantastic and big. That would mean it's a project on its own. So should I just say it will be another project? That would leave the remaining 5 for exploration. I think that is what the cause of my hesitation and drift is. I have this expectation of how to end the project when the only expectation is supposed to be doing 100 self portraits.

I've attached more ceremony to the remaining artworks. And that is where I have faltered. The goal was to do 100 with the hopes that most of them would be good. Each portrait carries - equal weight, equal importance - as the blank paper that it begins with is equally blank from one beginning to the next.

So it is not the end that I am looking for but the beginnings.

I am striving for beginnings."

-Juana Almaguer, journal entry July 16, 2020